A Letter To My Daughter On Her First Birthday

Ok, maybe not on the day. But I’m trying, and I’m sure you’ll forgive me. At some point. After lots of therapy. Anyway, here goes.

My precious baby,

I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know how wonderful you are. You were a nice surprise for us. We didn’t plan for you, but there you were, and we couldn’t say no. By the time you read this you will have probably heard it a thousand times. Your brother was planned to a t, and you just sprung out on us, and we were not ready. I was worried about not being ready. Worried that I wouldn’t love you as much; wouldn’t connect with you as much. Boy, was I wrong. I guess mommies don’t always know everything.

By the time you read this, you will have stopped doing all the adorable baby stuff that I love, like that toothless grin you sometimes have when I change your diaper in your sleep. Or mimicking everything we do, and everything your brother does. Or snuggling into my neck and shoulder when you’re tired. Oh, I hope you’ll never stop doing that.

But I wish you would keep some things. I wish that you would never lose the clear, effective assertiveness that you have now. That you’d never stop making yourself heard, that you’d never lose this strong, fantastic voice of yours. And I don’t mean vocal voice; I could live with you being a bit less loud. But your determination to get what you want, your ability to get it from other people not by commanding, but by smiling and batting your eye lashes. You got that from your dad. The making people do what you want part, not the batting your eye lashes part. I wish you would never lose all that.

You are smaller than any baby I’ve ever seen, but you have a spirit like no one else. You will have to deal with being the smallest one in your group, because you will probably always be the smallest one. I’m not worried about you because I know you can handle anything thrown at you. You’ve been doing it quite well this past year. Sure, you protest, and you let us know you don’t like it. But then you turn around and make the best out of it, and you just make everyone love you so quickly. No one can say no to you. I wish for you to be as happy as you are now, for the rest of your life.

Yours forever,

Mommy.

@2015 - Gal Podjarny